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So you think ‘tough love’ is the way to go when comforting someone after loss? Think again. ?>

So you think ‘tough love’ is the way to go when comforting someone after loss? Think again.

  I never liked the phrase ‘tough love’. It makes no sense to me how being tough and love can go in the same sentence let alone work together. We are requested in life to be sometimes tough and put on a hard front, for example, when we are faced with a bully. Love, on the other hand, is the force that drives us, unites us and heals us on many occasions. It is powerful, positive, non judgmental, fuzzy and…

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Ho ho ho or no no no? 5 ways to survive the festive season while you grieve ?>

Ho ho ho or no no no? 5 ways to survive the festive season while you grieve

It’s that time of the year. Again. For some, the lead up to Christmas is the best time of the year. They get excited about it mid July and will tell you in 6 months it will be Christmas Day! Their joy is real and honest and they truly do love everything and anything about Christmas. Good on them.   Then there is the other group of people – those of us who dread Christmas. This can be for many…

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Can we still be kind while we are grieving? ?>

Can we still be kind while we are grieving?

By now, we can say with certainty – Grief is a lifetime challenge that surprises us when we least expect it and hits us hard when we seem least prepared. It always keeps us on our toes. It’s a hard road to travel on and some days, the path ahead seems littered with bumps and obstacles. I think we can all agree that we have our hands full with grief in our daily lives. It is one hell of a…

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Clean up your grief – 4 ways to fight off the darkness ?>

Clean up your grief – 4 ways to fight off the darkness

It’s spring! At least here in the Southern Hemisphere. It got me thinking about grief and how we sometimes need to do a bit of a spring-clean with it. But of course it doesn’t have to be spring to clean out our grief – it can be done at any time of the year. Grief can get draining and exhausting. It makes us feel stuck in our ways, our lives and our days. Grief is quite sneaky that way, too….

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The end of the road? ?>

The end of the road?

Today, I got nothing. I am out of everything – hope, faith, energy, positivity, belief, self-esteem. Everything. It has been an incredibly exhausting week for me – mentally, emotionally and physically. I have been sick with the flu und it is clinging to me very stubbornly. The low grade fever won’t leave me and it seems, it will settle in for good. My girls have been just as sick. We as a family experienced different hardships this week and they…

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An open letter to ER doctors ?>

An open letter to ER doctors

Dear doctors, I know you are insanely busy but I need you to listen to this. I have been carrying around my pain for too long. I get that your work environment is crazy. You see the worst of the worst and sometimes the best of the best. But most of the time, you work too long, too hard, too much and with little appreciation. The emergency room these days is a nightmare of paperwork for the doctors at the…

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When depression spreads through my body ?>

When depression spreads through my body

Things have been pretty tough for me lately. Life around us has not been nice; it has been downright awful and super challenging. It didn’t feel like I had a lot of control over things. We do like to have control though, don’t we? It is frustrating, infuriating and depressing. So very depressing. What is the point of living if we have no control? Such thoughts are super tough to deal with it and I think we can all agree…

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So you think everything happens for a reason… ?>

So you think everything happens for a reason…

I have written before about what NOT to say to a miscarriagesurvivor (check out my previous post ‘What NOT to say to a miscarriagesurvivor’) but I have left out one particular phrase that gets thrown around a lot after a miscarriage (or babyloss in general, for that matter): Everything happens for a reason. Does it? Does it, really? That is always my first reaction when I hear this phrase, especially when it is connected to my loss or anyone else’s…

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Please don’t be strong all the time ?>

Please don’t be strong all the time

I have been down recently, quite down. Life has thrown me a few curveballs and I am tired. I lack energy although I am trying to get recharged but it is hard. For that reason, I am going to steer off topic a little bit with this post. I have been thinking and worrying about mental health for a while now. My own, to start with, and that of other loved ones. Depression has been a loyal companion of mine…

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What NOT to say to a miscarriage survivor ?>

What NOT to say to a miscarriage survivor

Miscarriage survivors have a few things in common. We all lost a baby in the early to mid stages of pregnancy. We all were and are devastated by our losses. And, most likely, we all heard some terribly hurtful phrases when people tried to comfort us. We had our pain denied, belittled and dismissed. This leads to another thing a lot of miscarriage survivors have in common: We descend into silence because no one wants to know or hear about…

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